* This article is the 11th issue of Pindu in 2023.
I ran into an acquaintance, but I didn’t see him for more than a month and thought he had lost a lot of weight, so I asked him for advice on the secret of losing weight. He told me: "I found some partners to lose weight, ran together and ate fat-reducing meals. Everyone encouraged and supervised each other every day. I didn’t expect the effect to be quite obvious."
Weight loss partner? Seeing my doubts, my acquaintances told me with a smile that compared with my friends, the utility of "partner" is more clear, and it can be accurately subdivided, such as "meal partner", "game partner" and "gym partner". That is, from the joint participation of something, it ends at the end of cooperation; Highly in tune with a certain field, but emotionally independent. Because we only concentrate on the matter itself, we are both relaxed. The acquaintance said happily: "This time, I lost weight successfully, and’ Zuozi’ contributed a lot. The purpose of getting together is to lose weight. If you lose weight successfully, the mission of’ taking the child’ will be completed, and it will be automatically dissolved. There is no trouble with the relationship. "
I am a person who seems to have a "flattering personality". Every time I go out with my friends, I always habitually compromise. For example, if I want to stay in a hotel and my friend wants to experience a B&B, then go to the B&B, even though it makes me feel unsafe, I may not sleep well all night. I wanted to taste local specialties, but my friend couldn’t get used to it and asked for a change of fast food, so I stopped insisting and just ate at will. I plan ahead and want to visit more scenic spots, but my friend is tired and prefers to sleep in his room, so stay in his room and play with his mobile phone in another place.
With the "partner", it is completely different. You are used to staying in a hotel, and I am used to staying in a hotel; You like to eat special food, and I like to try it. You are energetic and want to look around, and I also want to visit all the scenic spots … We are in tune with each other in terms of tourism. If it’s not in tune, then find another one who is in tune, and no one has to accommodate anyone. The original purpose of everyone is to find people with the same hobbies and have a good time. If you are happy, I will be happy.
I have read Xu Zhimo’s poem: You and I meet in the dark sea/You have yours/I have mine/direction/You remember it/You’d better forget it/The light that shines on each other at this meeting … This poem is very suitable for describing the relationship between partners. After meeting each other, the vast majority of the results are forgotten, but some will remember, and thus further develop.
Xiaoyuan is an example. When she announced her engagement in a circle of friends, many of her friends were surprised. Everyone knows that Xiaoyuan has always been in fear of marriage, and has declined many people’s kindness to introduce her boyfriend. Why did you suddenly change your mind? Xiaoyuan told everyone shyly that some time ago, she found a "book partner" to read together and exchange reading feelings. This "book partner", like Xiaoyuan, especially likes reading, and they have similar views and have the same view on many things. Because there is no burden of "making friends", Xiaoyuan gets along with each other easily and happily, and unexpectedly discovers the "interesting soul" of each other. It happened that the other party also felt this way, so they naturally developed from "partners" to male and female friends until they "made a positive result."
In fact, "partner" socialization is a kind of "shallow socialization" above strangers and below friends. This kind of relationship can not only inspire each other, but also cause no extra burden to each other because of the sense of boundary, which is very suitable for busy young people with increasing pressure. If you want to get rid of a person’s loneliness quickly, it is still feasible to find a precise companion.
Author: Qiao Kaikai
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